What Did You Say?

September 2nd, 2010

Proverbs 21:23 ~ He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles.

 

When I looked up the word communicating in the dictionary this is what I found:

 

1.    The act of transmitting.

2.    A verbal or written message

3.    A process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior.

 

Now, if you are the person transmitting, wouldn’t you agree, that it is your responsibility to ensure that the other person has heard you and understands what you’ve said?

 

·         It is your responsibility to make sure the person you are speaking to hears you and understand what you have said. 

 

The person you are speaking to may not be able to hear you, they may be focused on something else and not listening to you…there are many reasons the person you are speaking to doesn’t hear you.  It’s up to you to make sure you have their attention, that the timing is right, and they are listening to you.  If you do this, you can’t get upset because they weren’t listening to you or haven’t heard a word you have said.

 

·         The first 15 seconds of the morning with your spouse will set the mood for the rest of the day.  Better make sure that you are kind and loving during your first 15 seconds.  Say “good moring” or “hi Baby” or lean over and give a kiss and a smile.

 

·         The first 15 seconds you see your spouse at the end of the day will set the mood for the rest of the night.  Allow your spouse to come home to a smile, a kiss, and a “hi Honey.”  Don’t attack during the first 15 seconds of your spouse arriving home.

 

If you are having a disagreement, argument, or confrentation do not start your sentenances with “You”, start your sentenance with “I.”  By starting a sentenance, during a disagreement, with the word “You”, you automatically place blame on your spouse and that creates your spouse to immediately become defensive and want to fight back.  Not a good thing! 

Need help in this area? Contact me at 678-877-6519 or Rhonda@RhondaNeely.com to set up your free consultation.

What Others Are Saying

September 2nd, 2010

In response to "Commit – Are You Wise?"

Wow!  This newsletter really opened my eyes.  I have a 'wise' husband!!!  That is something that I take for granted!  I am going to work hard on letting him know that I am grateful for him for these things.  It also opened my eyes to see that I need to 'wise up'!!!  It is so easy to be 'simple'.  I've really got to work on that area in my life.  Thank you for this today, Rhonda!  As always…you're the best!

Sandi Krakowski’s 6 & 7 Figure Business Secrets Revealed!

September 1st, 2010

Signed up today for Sandi Krakowski's live event on September 17th in Indianapolis. Can't wait! http://www.arealchange.com/blog/live-event-2010

An illegal immigrant who has been arrested five times for driving offenses, including a hit-and-run that ultimately left an elderly Dacula man dead, was back in court in Gwinnett County last week.

August 23rd, 2010

The family of Aubrey Sosebee, whom Celso Campo-Duartes was convicted of running over in 2005, wonders why the Mexican plumber is still in the United States.

“He shouldn’t have even been on the road, let alone this country,” said Gary Sosebee, one of the man’s sons.

Sosebee’s family believed Campo-Duartes would be sent back to Mexico after serving time on the hit-and-run charge.

The Sosebees received a letter from the Gwinnett County district attorney’s office informing them that Campo-Duartes was due back in court for a probation violation hearing.

“What’s he still doing in this country?” asked Sosebee, 55. “That’s what we want to know.”

Sosebee said his father, who had gone to retrieve the mail when he was run over, spent his last few months in a hospital bed, being fed by a tube. He was 83 when he died.

Gwinnett County Assistant District Attorney Rich Vandever said he routinely sees illegal immigrants pass through the system and back again.

“We deal with it every day,” Vandever told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “It really shows how the state’s hands are tied.”

Campo-Duartes served a little more than two years in the Gwinnett County Detention Center after he was arrested in October 2005 for serious injury by vehicle, driving without a license, driving without insurance, and having a tag from another vehicle on his car in the Sosebee case. He was not able to afford bond, according to court records, and spent the next 26 months behind bars.

Campo-Duartes initially rejected entering a guilty plea because the judge told him he risked deportation. According to the court transcript, the magistrate judge asked him if he understood the ramifications of pleading guilty, and Campo-Duartes said he did not. The case was set for trial at an undetermined date.

In the meantime, Campo-Duartes wrote Superior Court Judge Timothy Hamill, explaining that he has a wife, three children and a 60-year-old mother for whom he is the primary provider.The letter did not specify if the family was in Georgia or in Mexico. In his absence, he said, the family had lost their house and car and was in dire need of food.

In January 2008, he entered a negotiated plea to a charge of failure to stop at or return to the scene of an accident and was sentenced to two years in prison and three years of probation. Campo-Duartes was released for time served. It wouldn’t be long before he was back in police custody.

One year ago Saturday, he was arrested for driving without a license and released the same day on $760 bond. In October, he was arrested on the same charge. This time, an immigration hold was placed on him, meaning no bond could be issued. Nonetheless, according to jail records, Campo-Duartes was released eight days later.

Those arrests came before the Gwinnett County Sheriff’s Department began participating in the 287(g) program — a partnership with the federal government that trains deputies to identify illegal immigrants in the county jail, then hand them over to Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE)for possible deportation.

Cobb, Gwinnett, Hall and Whitfield counties and the Georgia State Patrol participate in the program.

Before 287(g), “our hands were pretty much tied,” said Gwinnett County Sheriff Butch Conway. He said it is likely someone like Campo-Duartes jailed on a traffic-related offense was not checked.

“This just reinforces the need for that program in Gwinnett County,” Conway said. “I’ve said before that it was a revolving door in the past where an illegal immigrant could be arrested eight or 10 times and released even on bond or after 48 hours. It’s just more work on Gwinnett County government to process people that shouldn’t be here.”

Campo-Duartes was arrested again on May 28, charged with disorderly conduct and unlicensed driving. He would have been eligible for a $1,983 bond, but since the arrest is a violation of his probation, he is being held without bond. His hearing was continued until September because he didn’t have a lawyer yet.

.Now that Gwinnett has adopted 287g, Campo-Duartes will be handed over to federal immigration officials once this case is resolved.

In court Thursday, Campo-Duartes claimed he had already been deported, but there’s no record of it. If he was in fact deported and returned to the U.S. illegally, “that action constitutes a crime and the alien can be charged with illegal entry and, if convicted, can be sentenced to up to 20 years in prison,” said Ivan L. Ortiz-Delgado, a spokesman with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. He said he could not speak about Campo-Duartes’ case without the defendant’s permission.

“From what we’ve gleaned, he probably was deported,” Vandever said. “But re-entry is another problem we have. We see people back in the country time and again even after they’ve been deported.”

Conway said he hopes to have definitive answers on Campo-Duartes’ fate by today.

“I want to know how it happened,” the sheriff told the AJC. “That’s just a failure of the system.”

Campos-Duartes is being held in the Gwinnett County Detention Center, and does not have legal representation at this time.

ARE YOU WISE?

August 19th, 2010

A wise man foresees evil, and hides himself: the simple pass on and are punished.  Proverbs 27:12

What is the difference in a wise man and a simple man?

Today I'm going to share with you that a wise man or woman knows good from evil and makes right choices.  The unwise (simple) person chooses to make unrighteous decisions and gets punished.  Isn't that what the scripture says?

This morning as I listened to a story of an executive, who lost his job, I was reminded of this verse.  The executive didn't lose his job because of downsizing or the poor economy, but because he was in a hotel room with his subordinates drinking alcohol, playing poker, showing porn on the company's laptop, and using vulgar language.  Was this a wise man that hid himself from evil?  Was this the simple man that passed on and got punished?

Wives – Are you blessed to have a wise husband that foresees evil and hides himself?  This is a valuable character trait in a man and you are so very blessed to have a husband of this nature.  Imagine the stress of the wife of the executive mentioned above might have felt.  If your husband is a wise man and foresees evil, you need to cherish him for that and consider yourself blessed.

Husbands - Are you blessed to have a wise wife that foresees evil and hides herself from it?  If you have a wife that you are proud of because she makes right decisions, let her know how proud you are of her.  Tell her! 

TAKE NOTE – Take time to thank your spouse and let him or her know how much you appreciate the love they show you by making right choices.  Thank God for giving you a righteous mate.  Kind words, a card, or a passionate kiss can go a long way when saying thank you.

Master the art of being a wise man.  Master the art of making the right choices that you and your spouse will be proud of.  Master the art of being blessed for your righteous spouse.

Need help in this area?  Contact me at 678-877-6519 or Rhonda@RhondaNeely.com to set up your free consultation.

Clean and Bandage After a Fight

August 12th, 2010

Most couples fight at some time or another.  And no; it is not healthy for a relationship to fight on a regular basis (nor is it healthy to ignore problems in your marriage).

First let me define "fight." Fighting is not the same as arguing your point or disagreeing on a matter. It becomes a fight when either tempers flare or one person intentionally tries to hurt the other. The fight itself is not what is the most damaging to a relationship. It is the wounds from the fight that does the damage. Like a wound that is not properly cleaned and bandaged; injuries from a fight; if left uncared for; can become infected and even have the potential to kill a relationship.

If you and your spouse have had a fight; here are some ways you can "clean and bandage" the wounds so that healing will take place: Be the first to say "I`m sorry"; deal with the wound as soon as possible; create a peace treaty so the same issue will not result in another fight; forgive and ask for forgiveness; pray together about the issue and ask God to heal the wounds; actively love the person you just fought with; even if it is the last thing you want to do.

Love is a wonderful ointment that speeds up the healing process.

Have You Lost That Loving Feeling Part 2

August 5th, 2010

Good Morning :)

Last week I talked about Losing That Lovin Feeling.  Today is a continuation.
 
Let’s break down 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.  It’s time to take a self evaluation or self inventory.

Love is patient – how patient are you with your spouse?  When your spouse makes you angry do you do what you can to hurt your spouse in return, or do you keep calm and ask your spouse what you can do to resolve the issue?

Love is kind – over the last week, have you done something kind for your spouse?  Take the time to think about what you’ve done and honor yourself.  If you haven’t been kind to your spouse, ask for forgiveness.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud – does envy, boast or proud describe you? 

It is not rude – rudeness is being discourteous or impolite.  If you are being rude, ask yourself why?  Why would you do that?  Do you like being discourteous or impolite?  Is that how you want people to see you? 

It is not self-seeking – oh boy, here is the big one!  Self-centeredness is the biggest reason for divorce.  Stop thinking about yourself and start thinking of what you can do for your spouse.

It’s not easily angered – Are you able to keep yourself from being easily angered by your spouse?  If you are easily angered, check your heart.  If your heart is in the right place, no one will be allowed to easily anger you.

It keeps no record of wrongs – Keeping records of someone’s wrongs shows your weakness.  Keeping records or wrongs is you not forgiving, it’s you storing up ammunition for the next battle, it says you cannot forgive and love.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.
 
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always preserves!

Now, I ask you, where did that lovin feeling go?  The most important thing that you can learn from this is that you must focus on how you treat your spouse, not how your spouse treats you.  You’ve got to be the best you can be, and in return, your spouse will love you more than you can ever imagine.

Rhonda Neely

Christian Life Coach

http://RhondaNeely.com

Have Your Lost That Lovin Feeling?

July 29th, 2010

If the love in your marriage is gone find out where it went.  Really!  Where did it go?  Love isn’t like a pair of keys that you’ve put down somewhere and can’t find.  It’s not like the remote control that could possibly be buried between the cushions of the couch.  Really now.  I’ve never heard the question “who has the love? I can’t find it anywhere in this house!”  Or what about a statement like “I can’t find my darn love.  I must have left it somewhere, but I just can’t remember where.”  Ok, I think you probably get the picture, right?

Let me tell you what love is and how to find it the next time you think you’ve lost it.

1 Corinthian 13:4-7 – Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

There it is, the truth.

Be of Good Cheer

July 24th, 2010

In this world you will have tribulations but be of good cheer!

It’s Not Just A Note

July 23rd, 2010

IT’S NOT JUST A NOTE

The other day I picked up a spiral notebook to prepare myself for an upcoming client call.  I opened the notebook, looking for the page I wanted to write on, and the notebook fell open to a page somewhere in the middle.  Written with a Sharpie were the words “I Love You Baby.”  What a nice surprise! 

I’ve gone out to get in my car before and found a note written on the back of an envelope telling me to drive safely, or a sticky note on the steering wheel telling me to have a great day.

These simple and inexpensive little notes brighten my day.  They tell me that Steve was thinking about me and that he took the time to let me know how much he loves me.  If this happened to you, how would it make you feel?

It is simple surprises like these that keep a relationship long lasting and enlightened every day.

Husbands and wives, are you making an effort, regularly, to let your spouse know that you are thinking of them and that you love them?  What can you do today, out of the ordinary, to let your spouse know that you are thinking of them?  I encourage you to take a minute and do something.

MAKE LIFE EASIER

My friend and co-author, Jeffrey A. Betman, PhD, has written Chapter 18 in our new book “Today Is Your Day” titled MAKE LIFE EASIER.  Now I don’t know about you, but I’m always looking for ways to make my life easier!  Jeff’s chapter gives you 7 secrets, proven to work, if you apply them, to make your life easier.  Jeff’s chapter is a great read and I know you’ll enjoy it as much as I did.  You can get your copy of Today Is Your Day book at http://rhondaneely.com/Test/templ/t60/t1link.php?link=3 for only $14.99 plus S/H which totals $19.99.  For less that twenty bucks, you can make Today Your Day!

Proverbs 16:3 ~ Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed.

Have a great weekend!

Rhonda Neely

Christian Life Coach

Http://RhondaNeely.com